Into The Green: Disclosure

Being "out" has advantages and disadvantages. Advantages include greater opportunities to mingle with other Pagans, more contact with the Pagan community, the chance to show that Pagans are decent people, and no longer having to hide your beliefs. Some of the disadvantages include harassment, discrimination, rejection by family and friends, conversion attempts, and fear of the preceding difficulties. You should weigh the options and possible results carefully before deciding.

Think about the effects on your life and property, as well as other people. Do you live in a tolerant or intolerant area? If you own your house, you don't have to worry about a landlord evicting you – but if the situation gets really tense, you would have a harder time leaving the area. If you have a family, you must consider their needs as well as your own: your partner could face job harassment, or your children could face teasing at school. What about your own work situation? Finally, can you count on the support of other Pagans in your area? Doing it alone is much harder, particularly if you are the first open Pagan in your area.

Pagans decide to "come out" for various reasons. They may feel uncomfortable or even dishonest about concealing their beliefs; they may want to share their "true selves" openly. Some feel a calling to serve their community. Some want to prove that Paganism does not equal "devil worship" but rather constitutes a positive value system. Others want a degree of contact with the Pagan community which would make secrecy hard to maintain. A few come out to avoid surprise discovery.

If you do decide to make your beliefs known, draw on the experience of others to choose an appropriate time and manner of revelation. The alternative sexuality community has dealt with issues of "coming out" for many years. You might ask Gay or Lesbian friends about their coming-out experiences or read books on that subject.

You can reduce the chance of a major blow-up by taking some basic precautions. First, test the waters before you tell someone; ask a few hypothetical or general questions to sketch out their attitudes towards alternative religions. Avoid making announcements in an already-stressful situation. Try to find a quiet time when you can catch your audience in a calm mood. Also emphasize your wish for open and honest communication rather than confrontation.

Spend some time thinking about possible reactions and how you would respond to each. You can expect one of four basic reactions:

1. Nothing. The listener ignores your announcement.
2. Positive response. The listener supports your ability to make your own decisions and may ask questions.
3. Neutral response. The listener does not really support your decisions, but avoids interfering with your life.
4. Negative response. The listener completely rejects your choice and may spout mainstream religious rhetoric or ultimatums.

Prepare yourself to deal with any of these results. A calm demeanor and factual information always work better than losing your cool.

If you decide to come out Pagan, expect some relationships to chill, others to end, and some to deepen and improve. Respect yourself and your choices; do what feels right for you, not what other people want or expect. Ultimately, following your own path will bring you greater happiness and success.